Since I was in college, I’ve always wanted to get braces. When I smile, if you look at me at a certain angle, I look like I’m missing a tooth, and my upper front two teeth come out forward enough where I look like I have buck teeth. I’ve seen a few orthodontists, and they all agreed that it was pointless to get braces without getting jaw surgery. My upper jaw never grew out enough to match my lower jaw. So, if you looked at me from the side, my lower jaw looks like it’s protruding out. So the doctors would have to break my upper jaw and pull it forward.
I guess I started at a bad time to do my P90x. Last Friday I had surgery on my mouth. I was told that my jaw would be wired shut for 3 weeks. Only a liquid diet during that time. Then soft foods for another 3 weeks. So, a total of 6 weeks and I would lose about 10% of my body weight. I thought this would be a good time to do P90x because it would force me to diet whether I liked it or not. I always thought the diet was the hardest part, and this would give me a good opportunity to take advantage of it.
Well last Friday, after 2 years of having braces, I finally had the operation. I’m freakin miserable. The doctor said I that I would be congested for 1-2 weeks. On top of that, not only is my mouth wired shut, but there is a mouth piece in there to hold everything in place. So very little air is going in and out through my mouth, and I’m congested. I’m having the worst time breathing right now. It was so tough to breathe the first 2 days that I started having anxiety. I started thinking of my own death, and it scared me to hell to think that Bizzy would be parentless. It made my cry, and the anxiety made it more difficult to breathe.
I only stayed one night at the hospital. My brother picked me up and took me to my sister’s house so she could watch me. I was given a ton of medicine. Out of all of them, the most impressive was Afrin. It’s a nasal decongestant that worked miraculously. I like instant gratification, and this was one of them. Within minutes, my sinus cleared up and I could breathe, and my anxiety decreased as well. But like all good things, there’s a catch. I was told I could only take this for 3 days max. After 3 days, the Afrin works backwards, and I will be more congested than ever. This was a very scary thought. I’ve used it 2 days now. Today at noon, will be my last use. It won’t be the full 3 days, but I don’t want to take any chances. The idea of being that congested scares me a lot. The worst case scenerio, the doctor told me to cut off my mouth piece so I can breathe. If I have to do that, the scary part is the moments leading up to that. I must be suffocating to do that.
As for Bizzy, she’s being watched by my sisters. She’ll stay at one house for a few days and go to my other sister’s tonight. Sounds like she’s doing very well. I miss her so much and wish I could see her, but I look like a monster. My 12 year old niece saw me when I arrived from the hospital, and she has not looked at me since. She told her mother that I look scary, and she was a little scared of me. If that’s the case, I can’t imagine what my 3 year old daughter will think if she saw me. So, I’ll go home today for the next couple of days and hope my breathing will get better. If my face is less swollen, then I will come back and see Bizzy again when I’m not a monster.