Coffee and Juice

Starving

Mr. Coffee — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 03:12:45 +0000

It’s been 1 week since jaw surgery. I went to the doctor today to loosen up my mouthpiece. I’m able to breathe much easier and much of the pain is gone. But now I’m super hungry. A liquid diet was okay the first few days, but it’s getting to me now. I’ve lost roughly 12 -13 lbs in the last week. Dr. wants me on a liquid diet for the next 3 weeks. This is going to be rough.

to my brother and sisters

Mr. Coffee — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:30:07 +0000

thank God for my brother (including brother in law) and my sisters. Without them, my recovery would be so much more difficult.

Orthognastic (jaw) Surgery

Mr. Coffee — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:26:40 +0000

Since I was in college, I’ve always wanted to get braces. When I smile, if you look at me at a certain angle, I look like I’m missing a tooth, and my upper front two teeth come out forward enough where I look like I have buck teeth. I’ve seen a few orthodontists, and they all agreed that it was pointless to get braces without getting jaw surgery. My upper jaw never grew out enough to match my lower jaw. So, if you looked at me from the side, my lower jaw looks like it’s protruding out. So the doctors would have to break my upper jaw and pull it forward.
I guess I started at a bad time to do my P90x. Last Friday I had surgery on my mouth. I was told that my jaw would be wired shut for 3 weeks. Only a liquid diet during that time. Then soft foods for another 3 weeks. So, a total of 6 weeks and I would lose about 10% of my body weight. I thought this would be a good time to do P90x because it would force me to diet whether I liked it or not. I always thought the diet was the hardest part, and this would give me a good opportunity to take advantage of it.
Well last Friday, after 2 years of having braces, I finally had the operation. I’m freakin miserable. The doctor said I that I would be congested for 1-2 weeks. On top of that, not only is my mouth wired shut, but there is a mouth piece in there to hold everything in place. So very little air is going in and out through my mouth, and I’m congested. I’m having the worst time breathing right now. It was so tough to breathe the first 2 days that I started having anxiety. I started thinking of my own death, and it scared me to hell to think that Bizzy would be parentless. It made my cry, and the anxiety made it more difficult to breathe.
I only stayed one night at the hospital. My brother picked me up and took me to my sister’s house so she could watch me. I was given a ton of medicine. Out of all of them, the most impressive was Afrin. It’s a nasal decongestant that worked miraculously. I like instant gratification, and this was one of them. Within minutes, my sinus cleared up and I could breathe, and my anxiety decreased as well. But like all good things, there’s a catch. I was told I could only take this for 3 days max. After 3 days, the Afrin works backwards, and I will be more congested than ever. This was a very scary thought. I’ve used it 2 days now. Today at noon, will be my last use. It won’t be the full 3 days, but I don’t want to take any chances. The idea of being that congested scares me a lot. The worst case scenerio, the doctor told me to cut off my mouth piece so I can breathe. If I have to do that, the scary part is the moments leading up to that. I must be suffocating to do that.
As for Bizzy, she’s being watched by my sisters. She’ll stay at one house for a few days and go to my other sister’s tonight. Sounds like she’s doing very well. I miss her so much and wish I could see her, but I look like a monster. My 12 year old niece saw me when I arrived from the hospital, and she has not looked at me since. She told her mother that I look scary, and she was a little scared of me. If that’s the case, I can’t imagine what my 3 year old daughter will think if she saw me. So, I’ll go home today for the next couple of days and hope my breathing will get better. If my face is less swollen, then I will come back and see Bizzy again when I’m not a monster.

First Jog

Mr. Coffee — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:09:05 +0000

About a week and a half, I went for a jog, and I couldn’t go farther than a quarter mile without stopping. Not because I was out of breath but because my quads felt so heavy that I couldn’t lift them anymore. To put it in layman’s terms, it sucked. It was one of those feelings where I hoped no one had seen me stop, and I was pretty depressed to know where I stood with my conditioning.
Mentally, I’m at a point that I’m tired of feeling like I do and will fight through the pain and struggles. This is huge for me. Without being ready mentally, I know that I could not follow physically. So today, I decided to go for a jog again. The route overlooks the ocean in Long Beach and about 2 miles long. So it’s 4 miles to the end and back. I was a little hesitant before the jog because I remember how difficult it was a week and a half ago. I decided to go for a walk jog. Jog when I can and walk when I need to. So I started off walking for the first 3 blocks to warm up, and I then started my jog. I knew, if I jogged at the pace of my last jog, my body would give out soon. I decided to take a much slower pace. Slower than what I used to jog but faster than walking. My goal was to keep the pace as long as I could.
I focused my sights on the ground about 5 feet in front of me. When I looked up, I mentally got more tired just seeing how much farther I had to go, and if I thought someone was looking at me, I would pick up the pace to show that I’m in good shape. But this would throw me off my pace and get me tired more. Being this out of shape not only gets me tired more, but it’s also more difficult to recover when I exert more energy. So, I kept my head down and kept on going. I also played slow songs on my iphone. I was afraid that if I played fast music with a beat that I would want to jog faster. I’m just not there yet. I even need to work up to fast music.
At the half-way point, I was pretty pleased that I made it without stopping. The slow pace helped a lot. My quads felt okay, but I could feel it in my hip joints. It was the kind of pain that comes from non-use. It was sore, but it was the good kind of pain. I stopped at the half-way point for about 1-2 minutes to take a quick breath and take a picture of the view of my route. It’s hard to enjoy the view when you’re struggling. I was dreading the jog back, but to my surprise, I actually made it all the way back. I walked the last 3 blocks home to cool down. I was tired. I estimate that I jogged about 3 miles of the 4 mile route. Because I was able to jog most of the route, it not only made me feel a little better about myself, but I also want to do this again soon.

Day 1

Mr. Coffee — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:46:51 +0000

Yesterday, I did the Pre-day 1 assessment for P90x. I woke up sore just from the assessment. I think part of writing this blog about P90x will give me accountability and force me to do it consistently. So today, I woke up and did Chest and Back. Wow… that’s a lot of push-ups. I can see why it works. It wasn’t one of those 5 minute a day ab cruncher miracles. It was a full on workout. By the end, I needed a nap and felt a little light headed with nausea. Thank God I don’t see this workout for another week. Anyway, here are my results.

Reps in Round 1/Round 2
Push-ups 15 / 12
Pull-ups 6 / 2
Military push-ups 10 / 5
Chin-ups 7 / 2.5
Wide push-ups 15 / 10
Closed grip pull-ups 3 / 2
Decline push-ups 10 / 10
Heavy Pants 12reps@35lb / same
Diamond push-ups 5 / 2
Lawnmower 12@35lb / same
Dive Bomber 5 / 4.5
Back fly 10 / 10 used elastic band

Pre-Day 1 of P90x

Mr. Coffee — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 19:49:01 +0000

Ok…. I decided to try P90x. I bought the program about 3 years ago but both the program and myself have been sitting around the whole time. After three deaths and becoming a single father, doing any type of exercise didn’t interest me. It was a little weird because I used to love playing basketball and surfing, but the longer I sat around, I noticed a tremendous loss of strength and energy. I used to live in San Francisco and played basketball on the weekends for 2-3 hours at Lowell High School. After basketball, I would occasionally jog Lake Merced at about an 8 minute mile pace. The lake is about 4.2 miles long, but I alway cut across a bridge that cut the distance to 3.5 miles. I also used to surf Ocean Beach. If you’re a surfer and know Ocean Beach, you know it’s not for beginners. Even on small days, there’s a lot of volume to the waves and the currents are always very strong. Just to paddle out takes a lot of cardio, energy and stamina. So, although I never had the body I always wanted, when it came to sports, I felt like I was an athlete and in good shape.
Before my mother passed away, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes in 2004. I was only 33 at the time. I didn’t take it very seriously because I was exercising so much, and I really just needed to watch my food intake. But after the deaths, watching what I eat was not on my mind. In fact, eating was one of the few things that brought me any type of joy. So now, I wasn’t exercising, and I was eating anything and everything. Not only was I not exercising, but I used to find myself just sitting on the sofa with the TV on all the time. I didn’t even go for a walk. I remember there were days when I sat on the sofa and not a word came out of my mouth for a couple of days straight. After 3 years, I feel physically and mentally horrible. Because of the diabetes and the lack of exercise, there are days when I’m just physically drained. And when you’re physically drained, you don’t have enough strength to do anything mental either. They’re definitely connected.
So the last 3 years consisted of taking care of a baby, paying off all my debts, trying to figure out my life, and being depressed. Well, I’m tired of feeling depressed, I’ve paid off all my debts, I’m taking good care of Bizzy, but I’m still trying to figure out my life. That’s another post, LOL.
So couple of weeks ago, my sister was babysitting Bizzy all day. It gave me a whole day off, and I decided to go for a jog. I wanted to test out my cardio, but within 200 yards, my quads were burning so bad that I had to stop before being out of breath. It was depressing and embarrassing.
So here I am. I’m ready to start a better life. After 3 years, I finally put in one of the discs of P90x for the first time. I’ve had it for 3 years and never put in a single disc. Well, it’s about time I stop wasting my money on this program. So, here are some of my results for pre-day 1 of P90x.
Push-ups: 37
Pull-ups: 6
Vertical Jump: 20.5
In & Outs: 41
Bicep Curl: 12 reps @ 35 lb
Wall Squat: 1 minute 49 second
Toe Touch: +1.5 inch
Weight: 189 lb
Body Fat: 16%

Loss and Gain of interest

Mr. Coffee — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:56:02 +0000

Bizzy pulls out a toy and plays with it for about a minute then goes and gets the next one. Within an hour, the house is cluttered with every book, toy, and stuffed animal. She loses interest in everything she takes out, but then she gains interest when I’m about to clean it up. What’s up with that?

Isabella (Bizzy)

Mr. Coffee — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:20:31 +0000

After Miles had passed away, the doctors had gone through the original paperwork Velkies had filled out when she started her treatment with UCSF. And there it was. One of the questions on the paperwork asked if Velkies had been exposed to DES. She had marked, “yes,” but they had overlooked it. I remember the doctor saying, “the medical community has failed you.” We thought about a lawsuit, but after visiting with a couple of law firms, we just wanted it all to go away. We were depressed and disenchanted with everything. We decided to try again. In March, Velkies was pregnant again. This time she only wanted the best. So now we would make our doctor visits to UCLA. The doctor, here, was the best in the field. The staff was excellent, but the doctor, himself, had the personality of a rock. He never really spoke to us. He was very blunt and to the point. Never asked us how we were doing. Why we chose UCLA when we lived in Oakland…. nothing. Eventually, he would put in a cervical cerclage in Velkies. The exposure to DES made Velkies cervix weak or incompetent. This is the reason we lost Miles. Her cervix was not strong enough to hold him. The cerclage or stitches are sewn into the cervix to hold it shut during pregnancy. After a few months, Velkies didn’t like his apathy anymore, and we moved our treatment to John Muir Hospital in the East Bay. Thank God. It was expensive going to LA every month, and now, it was a 20 minute drive to the hospital.

The due date was December 6th. The date came and went, and two weeks later, the doctor would induce her to have the baby. Eventually, Velkies had a c-section, and Isabella was born 8 lbs, 2 oz, and 19 inches. After the birth, the doctor went in to take out the cerclage, but he said the UCLA doctor had stitched in a way that was too difficult for him to take it out and left it in there. I had just cut the umbilical cord, and my baby was born. Isabella Hwang.

The Men’s Bathroom

Mr. Coffee — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:50:41 +0000

So, we went to Costco yesterday. By the time we got out of the check out line, Bizzy had to go pee. I hate this part because now I have no one to watch my cart while I take her to the bathroom. And although Bizzy is a girl, I have to take her to the men’s bathroom. I don’t know what the women’s bathrooms are like, but men’s bathrooms in public places are pretty nasty. What really sucks is that Bizzy has to use a toilet and not a urinal. Anyway, once we went in, both stalls were being used. The guy in the handicap stall was doing a number two, and a Costco worker was peeing in the other stall. Of course, the guy peeing finished first. As I carried her in the stall, I see that there is pee on the floor and on the seat. Normally, I wouldn’t be that upset because most men’s bathrooms are like this, but knowing Bizzy needs to sit down, I was disgusted. ”God damn,” I said it loud enought to let the Costco worker know that I disapproved of his hygiene.

This really sucks. First, I have to clean the toilet seat. Then I put a toilet liner down and try to make her stand on the seat and squat. She wouldn’t have it. She was squirming and screaming. So I put down a second liner down on the seat to let her sit. Then I have to make sure her pants don’t touch the urine at the base of the toilet. She’s done quick and back to being a happy camper. For me, I need to figure out how to avoid these kind of situations. Maybe take the potty training toilet with me wherever I go because the men’s bathroom is freaking disgusting.

The Seventh Poop

Mr. Coffee — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 03:32:35 +0000

Everything evens out in the end. My sister took Bizzy for the day and night last Friday. I was able to catch up on a lot of things like clean house, pay bills, go jogging, and get some rest. My brother came over and we played NHL 09 on the PS3. I beat him 10 games to none. Yes… I am that good, lol.

The next morning I drove up to my sister’s house and picked up Bizzy. I took her to meet up a friend for coffee, then took Bizzy to lunch and finally came home around 2 p.m. Everything had been great till this point. But as I said, everything evens out. I had a good day and a half, and it was now time for me to be punished. By 3 p.m., the house was a disaster area and the first poop had arrived. By 8 p.m., she had pooped five times, and I had cleaned the house twice already since we got back. I was tired and sat down to relax and watch a Clippers’ game – the Lakers had the night off.

Bizzy had gone into her room for a few minutes. I was relieved to have a moment to myself. I had hoped she would go in for at least 15 minutes to color or draw. I was wrong. She came out of the room within 5 minutes with only a shirt on. She was holding a diaper wipe that was covered in poop. She had poop on her hands, and it was smeared from her belly button down to her knees. Apparently, she wanted to try cleaning up her own poop. A+ for effort, but it was a massive F- on job completion. I live in an apartment so I had no hose to hose her off. I had her stand there while I took about 20 diaper wipes to clean it all off. Then I ran a bubble bath for her to wash her body off. As she settled in, I sat down for a second to take a breather. Just then she came out of the bathroom dripping wet. “What are you doing out of the bath,” I asked her. She replied, “I pooped in the bath.” Good Lord!!! I walked over to the bath and pushed some of the bubbles out of the way, and there it was. Poop number seven. She’s a machine. I drained the water, cleaned the tub, and ran the bath for her again. It turned out to be a long day, and like I said before, everything evens out. Life is back to normal again.